Wednesday, 1 August 2012

To Take Advantage or Not?

Big news.

When I was told of this, I had hoped it wasn't her though. Though it's all over *Wanbao & *TNP, and despite all the mosaic-ing they've done, it's pretty apparent it's her.

*Our local trashy, or some might call it more exciting, newspapers. They're the closest you can get to paparazzi news.

A girlfriend asked me if she should blog about it, and me, being the ever "useless", "softhearted" and "boring" person that some deem me to be, have quite the heart to tell her not to, because it just wasn't very nice, though I know of some famous bloggers who would take the opportunity to blog and tweet about it without much consideration, just for their own amusement. And oh yes, for the hits, cos it's a pretty blogger who is the subject matter here. I shan't comment too much lest these people say I'm blogging about it too. Though trust me, I have given it some thought, and I just have an urge to say something. Hopefully in the most objective and neutral way possible so it doesn't hurt anyone in the process.

Then again, blogs would be so boring if no one lashes out at anyone, or has no "real" emotions like anger and frustration (basis for many great & entertaining blog entries, actually). Because no one's really interested in the positive and morally correct stuff. Not many are, anyway. Correct me if I'm wrong. So for (some of) your entertainment, reading pleasure and to satisfy your nosiness, read my girlfriend's post. (Post has since been removed, thank god.)

I might have become too zen post-ex-supposed-but-I-was-so-wrong-about-her-BFF-fallout.

I know the model/blogger in the picture above, though not very well, but I have met her a few times to deduce that she's a smartass sensible streetwise kid. And well, the drugs could've just been a night of fun, and suay her if it's her first time and she got caught.

Come on, haven't we all ever, at least once in our perhaps too follow-the-rules-all-the-time life, wondered about getting drunk (for those who has yet to) or trying weed or mushrooms or any kinda drug which supposedly puts you in a weird state (like laughing at the unfunniest of things or sprouting nonsense and gibberish no one could understand, not even yourself)?

Until my friend said that it's not like that girl thought about how she felt when she said bad things about her. (Weren't pleasant indeed.) And they apparently know each other too.

Which reminds me of the spat earlier in the year. I could fight my way through, not like I'm inept at it or anything (why the hell do ppl think that just because we don't fight back that we're losers and that we agree with what has been written?) I was angry. Hell of course I was fucking angry. I treated this person like a friend. And guess what? I learnt that a true friend never betrays. I could spill the beans on all her dirty secrets and lies, like how she stripped my clothes and presented me for all the world to throw rotten eggs and hurl crazy insults upon, but I didn't. Yeah sure I wrote a post in a fit of anger, then deleted it after my sanity and the better me returned a few hours later. Was I pissed as shit? Sure I was. Do I really want to fight with her? No. After all, I have to thank the skinny tall Japanese-named PRC who somehow expertly manouvred and twisted my words into meanings so abstract I don't even recognise them. While omitting the salt and pepper he added during the conversation. 

Applause please.

Okay. I shall summon my zenness and rationality back. The topic here is not to bring back that unpleasant one-sided (their sides are all the same cos they exchange information anyway) dramatic saga of "smoke and fire". What I do want to discuss is this:

Is revenge really bittersweet? Or should we even think about it at all?

As much as I want to be human and that means basically animalistic and want to retaliate the same person who hit me, I also remember that I am a morally educated person. I'm not trying to put myself on a pedestal here nor say that I am such a saint. What I'm saying is that I actually do have a conscience, like it or not, and I do recognise feelings such as "regret upon hindsight", and am not particularly a fan of it. I'm sure we all feel the same. So we avoid doing those things when we can. Let the bad things in life go, and concentrate on the good ones. (I attribute this to my readings, and my family upbringing. *smiles*) Life's just better this way.

No one deserves to be hurt, whether or not you hate them. Sure, you can teach them a lesson, but you don't have to, when one is already falling off a cliff, stomp your feet on their last gripping hand and grind it against the gravelly, painful rock which they cling onto. 

Okay that imagery is a little extreme, but you never really know what kind of hurt you bring, do you? Unintentional hurt is one thing. Purposefully doing it is another. Do you really want the other person doing that to you when you give them a chance to? Does that mean you will always have to live so carefully such that you never commit any mistake in case they catch it and use it against you? I think that's a pretty tiring life. 

Sure, people hurt us. All the time. Not always intentionally though. And even if it was, tell yourself that all setbacks are lessons in life. That's how we learn. Making mistakes and getting those red fishes 

  and we swear never to make those mistakes again, especially during the exams, or beat ourselves up for it if we do. In life, mistakes are more unique. Not all of us are thrown the same questions or problems, and each one of us reacts differently to a common problem, so in a way it kind of becomes like our own problem, and bystanders watch and go "Ha! You are this and this and that!" ever so readily. If enough people make those mistakes, they let it go and the effect is numbed. 

I'm going off topic. Or am I yet? 

Not if you think of revenge as a way to dig out and grind on the mistakes your intended subject has made. 

Live and let live. 

Life is amazing. There are dogs to be pet, flowers to be smelt, great books to be read, movies to be watched, blogs to waste time with (I'm kidding), and your own history waiting to be written. Are you sure you want hurt, plotting, vengeance, and a whole lot of negativity recorded in there? Every second spent doing something can never be taken back. It's stamped in eternity, or at least in your own little possibly 100 years (if you live that long) of biography. 

I'll spend it living well, and hopefully in good karma (at least from now. It's never too late to be good to yourself), doing the things I love and which makes me happy.

And I hope that she comes out fine from this. May all be well.

Peace out~