I know I said I'll blog more, and really, I'm trying to adjust to a new life...Well, filming for most of my shows have ended, UMMI filming's gonna wrap up in 2 days' time *fingers crossed*, the relationship hurricane that swept through my life early last month, my accident and the healing of my injuries (seriously...injured inside and out...FML)...I'm really trying to adjust to everything. No one to go back to every single day, thinking to let people into my life again or not, how, who, meeting friends I haven't met in ages, forging new friendships, rekindling old ones, clearing the junk in my room that has accumulated over the months when I've been emotionally distracted and unsettled, clearing the email that has accumulated over the same period, setting up my business which was supposed to be scheduled for launch by now (guess it's gonna take a few more weeks)...on top of the usual stuff like filming, Alton, skincare (I'm guilty of not taking care of it as well the past 1 month)..you know...the usual SOP of my life...
Speaking of emails. I know some of you have sent me queries about ads, sent me sweet emails asking about my well-being, sending me well-wishes, and generally, being a friend though I don't know you. I haven't been replying, and I apologise for that. I want you guys to know I appreciate you being there for me, first as a reader, then as a friend who has always been quietly there for me, reading my updates and what has been going on in my life, laughing with me on my idiotic days, thinking with me on pensive ones, and crying and being upset with me when I'm not being so perky. Thank you, I love you all for that... ^.^
And for that, a random picture since it's getting wordy. You haven't seen much of me, have you?
And yes, the advertisers, and all those who sent me queries about ad rates, asking me questions about things you are not sure about, sending me orders for my clothes on sale in the subpage...I will slowly reply you guys okay? If you will still talk to me. I haven't been the most responsive person ever, especially the past 2 months. But I don't really mean to ignore you, okay? I hope you are magnanimous enough to forgive me, and accept and reply my email, when it comes. =)
Haven't exactly had the smoothest day ever - Was out with Alton in my mum's company van when it broke down in the middle of - get this - a filter lane. The engine oil pressure light kept coming on whenever the vehicle slowed down, and then I braked (because the car in front braked), and that was it. Died. And then excessive smoke was all over the bonnet. I had to get a tow truck to get it. And I had to clear everything from the van. With Alton in tow. Know how inconvenient that is? If you know how anxious a dog Alton can get, you will understand. I nearly pulled out my hair.
Then all was good. I went out for dinner with Mint and her mum, and I rode, yah? On my way home, the bike chain started making all sorts of noises and started making my ride jerky. I had to find somewhere to stop, only to discover that the poor bike's chain had come loose and there was a weird piece of something wedged in between the chain. Either that was sabotage, or that thing was a result of my accident prior. And the guys had missed that. Because my bike chain was just changed like, 3 months ago? There must be some conspiracy going on to prevent me from being mobile... 2 of my vehicles broke down in one single day leh...can it get more COINCIDENTAL???? *faint*
God loves me. He must be protecting me from something. *feels grateful*
Then I got home, after trying not to swear at everything (I actually succeeded, other than a "Fucked up" message I had sent to a friend). I climbed into a nice hot tub of water, and spa-ed, and all was good again. I love spa-ing, not just because it helps me relax and lose weight, but in there because I can't play with my phone or read cos everything will just get wet, I get to do a lot of thinking~
Nic's been calling, every single day, after my accident, at times appearing at my doorstep with lunch, other times just calling to check if I had eaten, or slept, or if my wounds are recovering nicely. To be honest, if he had just left my life like that it might have been easier to hate him and let go. Is he feeling responsible for my accident? Does he want to come back? Can he? Can I still? He can really be almost everything I want and need, emotionally. Supportive in everything I do, and if you've read about him before, he can be really sweet, and sincere, and genuine. But it's scary how he can change, too. I don't know if I can still put myself out there and let him slaughter me, not knowing and fearing if he ever will again. Emotional roller-coasters are very messy, especially mine, and I don't really like or want to see me go paranoid and become a crazy bitch again. It's not fair to my life, it's not fair to my readers (becos then after that I won't blog much again...), it's not fair to people who loves me, it's not fair to the other guys out whom I have never given a chance to, right?
Yes, people make mistakes. I have made a fair share of my own too, and paid for it. I have lost someone I loved with all my heart, and as much as I had hoped he would give us a chance again, I now know it is possibly never possible ever again...and it pains me and wrecks my insides just talking about it now...and to be honest as I type I'm quite taken aback by the fact that thinking about it can still make me cry...
Anyway, as I was saying, people make mistakes. This one will probably be the one you will regret for life should you lose me for good. If you now think you were a fool. So many doors have opened since this one slammed on my face, and I really don't know what to expect from them. I've been taking the I-don't-really-expect-anything approach, which I think is safest, and fairest, for everyone. At least at this point in time. You see, with new relationships come a new set of uncertainties, whether or not people can or will commit, or if they are just there to make me grow, whether their presence is a temporary passing one, or something more permanent. So many questions, questions we ponder upon but we all know the answers only presents themselves when we look back years later. Questions, in other words, pointless to really think about anyway.
So anyway, just to update you on what's with me and him now. No answers. Just...a state of being.
Next, Alton. Alton has been away the past 2 weeks. Mainly because he kept jumping onto the bed and stepping onto my wounds, which FUCKING hurt when he did. And he will keep smelling and trying to lick it, and that pissed me off. Yeah I know you will all say he's trying to sayang me, but at that point it just seemed like he wanted to taste it. Yucks. And ouch.
But now since my wounds are recovering nicely, I brought Alton home yesterday...
Left knee. It was one big piece of skin gone, and new skin has grown back nicely. The abrasions kinda deep, so it will leave a scar I think.
My left ankle. This one had a deep gaping hole. A piece of flesh is gone. Yucks. Okay maybe it's skin. But it was so deep I could see the inside flesh that's pink and squishy... Maybe it's flesh after all. But anyway, it's recovering. I can still feel the hole when I run my fingers across the OpSite dressing, but it's not hurting, and not that itchy anymore, and most of the skin around it has grown back. I'm grateful.
And lastly, my right knee.
Well, yeah, there are light scars across my right torso too, but according to Dr Jonathan Lee, my recovery is very nice already, with all my injuries. If you don't remember who he is, he did Qiu's boobs. And made all of us cry watching that video of Qiu getting the procedure done. =D
Other than being good with his aesthetics he actually specialises in hand surgery. So if you know anyone with hand or wrist problems, have carpal tunnel symdrome, cut your flesh off your fingers doing art and crafts, fracured your hand somehow, broke your arm playing sports in school, kena nail infection because of some irresponsible nail salon, have some tendon or nerve problems, or meet with an accident involving a broken wrist (the other kind of broken wrist don't need to come), or if your Ah Ma or mother complains of anypain or numbness or stiffness in their hands or arms, look for him. His site's www.handsurgery.com.sg. And since I'm so nice, I shall give you his 24-hours emergency hotline - 6535 8833 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting 6535 8833 end_of_the_skype_highlighting. Save it in your mobile now. Don't start wondering what the number to that doctor Silver mentioned is, AFTER you kena an accident. Comes in useful, emergency numbers like that. Unless you don't mind being sent to some random hospital and have trainee doctors twist you the wrong way... (Don't laugh, I kena before...when you're in additional induced pain, an apology from the trainee is NOT going to be good enough...)
For enquiries, email Dr Lee at firstname.lastname@example.org.
For enquiries, email Dr Lee at email@example.com.
Anyway, if you're just hiao (like we all are...admit it..it's okay to be hiao~ ^.^) and want to look better, the aesthetics site is www.aestheticstudio.sg.
You can also visit the blogsite at www.aestheticstudio.blogspot.com, should you wish to read more about what you can do to make yourself more chio and more sexy and more ooh-la-la~ ;)
In case you're wondering, no, he's not paying me to help him advertise. I'm giving him mention here because, well, because he took care of my injuries and he has become a good friend after the lipo thing. And being me, I'm always up for helping good friends do free advertising. ^.^
P/s. Acquaintances need not apply.
Okay like I said, he was supposed to do my lipo and Clicknetwork was supposed to film the procedure until my artiste manager stepped in and stopped me because I was a kids' show host and it will somehow affect my image and all. Yes I'm still feeling a bit sore about it, and am STILL contemplating the procedure. Because I'm lazy to spend weeks working my ass off, or starve myself, just to get that body, when all I have is accumulated fat since my younger days of being overfed, and have remained at the same weight for years. Because had it not been stopped, I would have gone for it, had the fats sucked out and thrown away, recovered and have had a closer-to-perfect body by my 26th birthday. I didn't say it would be perfect, but CLOSER to perfect would be nice, doncha think? I should start wishing for it now, since my birthday happens in 2 weeks' time...
God, since you're taking care of me, I want to look eternally youthful, get rid of my frown lines (because I always get complaints from directors saying my frown shows up too much...>.<), flawless skin, a skinny face, not-so-flabby arms, to-die-for legs (not long never mind, nice and slim will do), nicely rounded boobs, an iPhone, and maybe an iMac too for my room? I also wish for my business to be BOOMZ by the end of the year. Amen.
I shall go donate money tomorrow, and donate blood next week after I'm back from Hong Kong since I haven't donated blood in years.
Welcome home baby!!!!
Muahahaha I haven't licked Mummy in 2 weeks!!! Must lick until I song~
Blub, blub, blub, blub, blub~~~
Blub blub blub....
Blub blub blub blubb~~~~
Xiao eh! Enough already hor! *用斜眼看Alton*
I don't care! I want to lick some moooooooohhh~~~~~
And he's finally done...
See the lines on my forehead? I go die now.
Dammit, I've heard people warn about the mid-20s skin crisis...I never thought it would happen to me like, AT AGE 25!!! NBFML~!~~~!!!! *hides face in soft duvet cover underneath Alton*
Shiok already go and sleep. So typically male behaviour...kns~ He doesn't look a day older, by right he should be 5.5x7 = 38.5 human years old equivalent now lor! 妖怪~ Not fair!!!
I think I'm gonna go with this expression a lot from now on. The expressionless expression. See, no photoshop, no editing, no lines. I even look botoxed and dermal-fillered. Au Naturel Chioness~
I go do mask already.